


The Night Before

by et_tu_adashi



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Established Adam/Shiro (Voltron), Hurt No Comfort, Hurt Shiro (Voltron), M/M, POV Shiro (Voltron), Pre-Kerberos Mission, im so sorry, pain just pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-28
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:28:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28377717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/et_tu_adashi/pseuds/et_tu_adashi
Summary: It's the night before the Kerberos mission and instead of sleeping soundly beside his Fiancee, Adam, Shiro is lying awake questioning the choices he made
Relationships: Adam/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	The Night Before

**Author's Note:**

> I saw Adashi art on tumblr and got inspired by it, though I switched the roles. Here's the link:  
> https://geckostuffs.tumblr.com/post/177929714017  
> Please check them out, they are so talented and deserve all the recognition and praise T-T  
> Sorry for the pain,,, it be like that sometimes :/

Shiro stared at the clock on his bedside table, getting lost in the soft glow of the numbers. It was 3 a.m., 3 hours until he had to actually get up, 5 hours until he was gone off of earth. When Shiro laid down in his bed, next to an already sleeping Adam, it was 10 p.m. He wasn’t tired then, but he made a point of at least trying to get a decent amount of sleep. Tomorrow was the big day, he would be off to Kerberos, leaving everything he knows and loves. His eyes were glazed over, more in his head than anything. Shiro was spiraling, getting lost in the endless stream of thoughts that were haunting him. He didn’t realize how much time had passed either.

He wasn’t awake because he was questioning his decision, he was at peace with that. He knew that it was dangerous for him to go, with his condition, but it was for the greater good and Shiro couldn’t turn away from helping people. He was more questioning the way he was leaving things with Adam, his fiance. The warm body sleeping next to him, turned away from Shiro not even wanting to face him in his sleep. Shiro wanted nothing more than to be holding Adam, just for one last time, but the pair had agreed that once it was the day he left, they would no longer be engaged. Even though Adam was asleep, and probably would have stayed silent if he woke up with Shiro wrapped up next to him, Shiro couldn’t bring himself to roll over and hug him. Too scared to look at the person who means the world to him. 

All those happy years together, the breathy smiles exchanged between laughter and the stolen kisses when no one is looking, all down the drain. This was not how Shiro wanted it to end, he didn’t want it to end at all, but Adam was firm on his stance that they can’t be together if he was going to leave. Adam didn’t want him to leave, he wanted Shiro to stay and go up the ranks in a way that wouldn't put him in harm’s way. Adam was tired of Shiro constantly being the loyal paladin who was always there when help was needed, especially since Shiro never took into account his own limits, his humanity. Kerberos was his breaking point, Shiro agreeing to go to Kerberos before telling him was his breaking point. 

“Takashi, how important am I to you?” Adam’s words rang in his head so loud, the entire scene replaying. 

He wished he could go back in time and tell Adam how much he really meant to him. To tell Adam that he was his world and there was no one else he wanted to be with. 

‘Turn around and wake him up, tell him how you really feel’ a voice in his head whispered, he shifted his body slightly thinking about whether or not to listen to the thought. Would it change anything if he woke up Adam? Other than Adam getting angry at being woken up at an ungodly hour in the morning. Still the voice whispered to Shiro, again to turn over and to wake up Adam.

‘If you don’t do it now, when will you ever get the chance again?’ An inner voice questioned, filling Shiro up with fear. His eyes unglazing as he rolled over in bed, now facing the sleeping body beside him. His eyes widened when he saw the outline of Adam’s face rather than the back of his head.

‘He must have turned around while I was thinking’ Shiro thought to himself, chewing on his bottom lip. All the words he wanted to tell Adam vanished when he saw his finance’s sleeping face, his body was paralyzed not moving an inch toward the slumbering man. 

‘Just reach over and shake him awake’ The voice in his head pushed, his arm slowly reaching out to touch Adam’s shoulder. 

“Don’t expect me to be here when you get back.” Adam’s voice rang out before Shiro placed his hand on Adam’s shoulder, his hand stopping in a hover over his shoulder before drawing it back into himself. 

No, he couldn’t wake up Adam. Adam already had given him the answer to his questions and pleas. Shiro and Adam were done and over with. What hurt was that Shiro couldn’t blame Adam for what he had told him. The Kerberos mission itself was dangerous, but with the added baggage of Shiro’s illness? No one would be able to keep it together, not when the odds favoring Shiro getting injured or hurt in some way more. 

‘Adam deserves to be happy in his life, not spending his time worrying over you.’ The cruel thought swirled in his mind. Shiro closed his eyes tightly, the fear in his chest morphing into sadness and hurt. It hurt to think about Adam happy in his life without Shiro, and the thought of not being there to witness all of the important milestones shattered him. Tears swelled at the edges of his eyes, threatening to fall down his face. 

‘No, you can’t cry, you chose this for yourself.’ A voice growled, causing Shiro to immediately wipe away the tears. The voice was right of course, this was his decision. He can’t feel bad about this, not on the day when he is leaving. It was a little too late for all of this. He opened his eyes, looking at Adam for only a moment more before turning back around to face away. He didn’t want to face the one person he didn’t want to leave anymore, he had a mission to go on today. Shiro’s eyes flicked back to the glowing screen of the clock, squinting softly as his eyes adjusted to the glow. It was now 5 a.m., one more hour until he had to get up and 3 more hours till show time. 

The morning light was creeping in through the cracks in the shades, illuminating the dark bedroom softly. Shiro sighed as he turned onto his back, he had given up on trying to sleep a while ago but the exhaustion of the night and his thoughts weighed heavily on his chest. He rubbed the top of his hair, feeling it in his hands as he tried to corral his thoughts. Gone was the night of overthinking and regret, there was no more time to dwell on the past and his decisions. He had a mission to prepare to go on and there was nothing back on earth that was keeping him tied down. He pulled the bed covers off of him, sitting up in bed before sliding off and walking to the bathroom. Not once looking back at the sleeping body residing in the bed still.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that you can understand that this hurts me too. I hope that you enjoyed this fic , and I hope all is well. 
> 
> Please leave a comment and give it a kudos if you enjoyed the pain ;-; 
> 
> You can find me on twt @ettuleo, I post a lot of cute hc's and threads about adashi on there


End file.
